I am feeling so good right now. I had a paper due today for English. It was only two pages – but it was based on 62 pages of reading. I got it done last night and felt really good about it. Then today during lunch I finished up two more assignments that are due tomorrow. I don’t technically have to study tonight – but I have to start preparing and planning for my first essay. The draft is due on Friday. I’m really excited about it.
I’m mostly excited that I feel that I’m staying ahead of the game. I don’t feel that there are even minor things that are falling behind yet. I know it’s only one week into it but I’ve got to start somewhere.
Sonya has been so great about taking care of things. She really has been amazing and so helpful already. I even had her read an essay to me last night so that we were spending time together and then we talked about it a little. I haven’t felt that I’ve neglected my family and that’s mainly because of her. She has stayed positive and it looks like she’s actually getting more positive as the time goes on instead of getting frustrated. (Frustrated at the boys is a different story)
I’m really starting to feel that I can really do this. I was worried for quite a bit last week. Scared of what I got myself into – but I’m starting to become a believer in myself – and isn’t that a main point of college?
Monday, January 10, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Perception
I’ve been working on a blog the past couple days that will be for later – but it has to do with perception. I’ll save the majority of my comments for that – but today was a great exercise in getting to know someone. After running from my weight training class to my College Success class I found an open seat next to a girl who also happened to be in my weight training class – I figured if anyone could understand why I wasn’t smelling like a peach it would be her… I did wonder when the guy sitting on the other side of me moved down one seat – oh well.
Anyway the point is that we did the whole get to know you thing where you talk to your neighbor and find out a little about them and then present them to the class. Her name is Gwen – the first thing I noticed though was I turned to her and saw what I thought was a CTR ring – and sure enough it was. Instantly my fear – and yes I’m still afraid of girls – but it was gone. We had a great conversation and got to know each other. I was able to open up and explain about my mission easier and I felt like she understood when I talked about how importantly my family was to me.
Why is it that once you have one thing in common that everything else is so much easier to talk about?
Finding that one thing though can sometimes prove to be difficult, especially for me. I always fear I’m going to say the wrong things or upset somebody. And I really hate to be called out on something that I don’t know everything about; which to me feels like most things. It’s something that I’ll have to work on – and if this first week is any indication – this will be a great time in my life to do it. I’ve done so many things outside of my shell the past 4 days – nothing major for most, but I’m feeling very confident and am really starting to feel that this time will be different.
Anyway the point is that we did the whole get to know you thing where you talk to your neighbor and find out a little about them and then present them to the class. Her name is Gwen – the first thing I noticed though was I turned to her and saw what I thought was a CTR ring – and sure enough it was. Instantly my fear – and yes I’m still afraid of girls – but it was gone. We had a great conversation and got to know each other. I was able to open up and explain about my mission easier and I felt like she understood when I talked about how importantly my family was to me.
Why is it that once you have one thing in common that everything else is so much easier to talk about?
Finding that one thing though can sometimes prove to be difficult, especially for me. I always fear I’m going to say the wrong things or upset somebody. And I really hate to be called out on something that I don’t know everything about; which to me feels like most things. It’s something that I’ll have to work on – and if this first week is any indication – this will be a great time in my life to do it. I’ve done so many things outside of my shell the past 4 days – nothing major for most, but I’m feeling very confident and am really starting to feel that this time will be different.
Starting to Set In
Sonya told me this morning when I got home about an experience with Isaac this morning. I guess she was already up and Isaac came out of his room – he saw her and turned around and started walking to our room. She tried to tell Isaac that I wasn’t there, but that I was at school. He kept on walking. When he got to the bed he looked up on it and saw that I really wasn’t there. He looked at Sonya and she told him that I’d be back right after class (only one class today) He started bawling – “I want him home now!”
As much as I love hearing these stories – especially right after he gets done yelling at me – sometimes I agree with Sonya that he might be Bi-polar – but it still makes me feel bad that he has to go through this.
I hate being gone from my family. I really am one of those that would love it very much if Sonya would work full time and I’d be home with the boys full time. I just like that kind of busy. I know the song, “Mr. Mom.” And as much respect as I do have for parents, usually mothers that do the stay at home thing – I also think they have very little to complain about. I think they have the best job in the world.
I feel bad for the boys who just had to go through a year of me being gone a lot to build the house. Now they have the house and I’m gone again to go to school. This time, for a lot more than one year. We’ll see how it goes. I’m really excited and I have to be honest – I think Sonya is amazing. She seems to be even more supportive of this than she was with the house. She has been cleaning and making sure I have the things I need. All this while she’s coming down with a cold too.
It’s also starting to set in for me too. I am quickly realizing that this process is going to take a long time. I want to be very successful at it. At the same time, I can’t let it consume my life. I need to make sure that I take time for my family. Today after getting out of class – I came home and almost immediately set on the floor with the kids and played with the cars. I want them to enjoy the times they have with their dad. Doesn’t mean there won’t be discipline when they deserve it but I hope that their memories will be happy. It seems to me that they are getting to an age or will soon be that they will start to be able to remember things and I want those to be good.
I also hope that I’m setting a good example. Isaac and Gary both have their “Backpacks” for school too. They love to pretend that and I hope that by me going they will be even more motivated to continue and know that college will be expected of them.
As much as I love hearing these stories – especially right after he gets done yelling at me – sometimes I agree with Sonya that he might be Bi-polar – but it still makes me feel bad that he has to go through this.
I hate being gone from my family. I really am one of those that would love it very much if Sonya would work full time and I’d be home with the boys full time. I just like that kind of busy. I know the song, “Mr. Mom.” And as much respect as I do have for parents, usually mothers that do the stay at home thing – I also think they have very little to complain about. I think they have the best job in the world.
I feel bad for the boys who just had to go through a year of me being gone a lot to build the house. Now they have the house and I’m gone again to go to school. This time, for a lot more than one year. We’ll see how it goes. I’m really excited and I have to be honest – I think Sonya is amazing. She seems to be even more supportive of this than she was with the house. She has been cleaning and making sure I have the things I need. All this while she’s coming down with a cold too.
It’s also starting to set in for me too. I am quickly realizing that this process is going to take a long time. I want to be very successful at it. At the same time, I can’t let it consume my life. I need to make sure that I take time for my family. Today after getting out of class – I came home and almost immediately set on the floor with the kids and played with the cars. I want them to enjoy the times they have with their dad. Doesn’t mean there won’t be discipline when they deserve it but I hope that their memories will be happy. It seems to me that they are getting to an age or will soon be that they will start to be able to remember things and I want those to be good.
I also hope that I’m setting a good example. Isaac and Gary both have their “Backpacks” for school too. They love to pretend that and I hope that by me going they will be even more motivated to continue and know that college will be expected of them.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Beginning down the Road
I’ve now had at least one of all my classes. I am feeling pretty good about it. The Professors are very straight forward from what I can tell. It’ll be more work than I’ve ever done but not more than I’ll be doing in coming quarters. I have 62 pages for English to read before Monday – at first I thought that sounded like a lot – but I’m already on page 15 so I’m doing well.
I think I will enjoy my Weight Training class the most – and hopefully I’ll get a lot out of it. My College Success has helped in one way already – I can spell Success now. Small achievements are the best I say because it takes those to make something big happen.
I’m really excited about my English class and really worried at the same time. I am worried that I may be in over my head. I’ve never considered that a strong point and so I fear that I’ll have to either put in a lot of work to get good grades – or I’ll get too frustrated and give up. I can’t do that this time. I shouldn’t have done it in the past but I did and now I am where I am.
I am pretty tired though. I don’t feel that I’m staying up way to late – it’s just that I have to be up by about 6am to get ready and be sure to make it to school on time. Since I don’t get off work till 9 it make for a late night considering when I get up. I do think the weight training class will help though to get me more energy. At least that’s the theory.
For now though and I do mean right now – I’m going to bow my head for a little nap. I’ve been enjoying doing that during lunch the past couple days. Maybe I’ll have to blog about that tomorrow.
I think I will enjoy my Weight Training class the most – and hopefully I’ll get a lot out of it. My College Success has helped in one way already – I can spell Success now. Small achievements are the best I say because it takes those to make something big happen.
I’m really excited about my English class and really worried at the same time. I am worried that I may be in over my head. I’ve never considered that a strong point and so I fear that I’ll have to either put in a lot of work to get good grades – or I’ll get too frustrated and give up. I can’t do that this time. I shouldn’t have done it in the past but I did and now I am where I am.
I am pretty tired though. I don’t feel that I’m staying up way to late – it’s just that I have to be up by about 6am to get ready and be sure to make it to school on time. Since I don’t get off work till 9 it make for a late night considering when I get up. I do think the weight training class will help though to get me more energy. At least that’s the theory.
For now though and I do mean right now – I’m going to bow my head for a little nap. I’ve been enjoying doing that during lunch the past couple days. Maybe I’ll have to blog about that tomorrow.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
New Journey
So tomorrow morning I start on a new journey. One I've started before and without much success. I'm hoping that this time is different - well - I'm hoping that the outcome is different. I know that almost every thing else is different. I'm married now, with two young boys. I have a great job now (one that is paying for me to go to school - how often does that happen now a days?) I've had success in other area's of my life - mainly us building and buying our first house. I just feel different. But in a lot of ways I feel so much the same.
I still don't love to work - I do it because I have to. I still love to stay up way to late a play video games. I of course still don't like to get up early to do anything - much less go to school. And I still find the task of completing a college degree to be very daunting.
So what will happen? Will my new differences make me so much better a student? Or will my old and bad habits get in the way of college success again?
I don't really think there is an answer for this - and although I think all of these things will play into my success or failure - I think they can fit in either category. I think my success will be based on me learning and developing certain talents I haven't developed yet. I think college for me will be about learning how to manage my time better. Learning how to get the most out of my time while I'm doing a certain task and compartmentalizing.
I'm excited, I'm nervous, and I'm scared. of what? I'm not really sure. It's a journey that I've never seen through and never gotten very far on. I know I just have to take it one day at a time and one class at a time. When I'm done, and if... yes if, I get that piece of paper in my hand that says I completed my college degree, I'll probably be excited, nervous and scared - of a new journey that I won't know much about.
Such is life - now it's off to bed, gotta rest up they say. That's not something that I've ever been very good at - but I guess now's as good as any to try new things.
I still don't love to work - I do it because I have to. I still love to stay up way to late a play video games. I of course still don't like to get up early to do anything - much less go to school. And I still find the task of completing a college degree to be very daunting.
So what will happen? Will my new differences make me so much better a student? Or will my old and bad habits get in the way of college success again?
I don't really think there is an answer for this - and although I think all of these things will play into my success or failure - I think they can fit in either category. I think my success will be based on me learning and developing certain talents I haven't developed yet. I think college for me will be about learning how to manage my time better. Learning how to get the most out of my time while I'm doing a certain task and compartmentalizing.
I'm excited, I'm nervous, and I'm scared. of what? I'm not really sure. It's a journey that I've never seen through and never gotten very far on. I know I just have to take it one day at a time and one class at a time. When I'm done, and if... yes if, I get that piece of paper in my hand that says I completed my college degree, I'll probably be excited, nervous and scared - of a new journey that I won't know much about.
Such is life - now it's off to bed, gotta rest up they say. That's not something that I've ever been very good at - but I guess now's as good as any to try new things.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Purpose
When I started this blog a year ago I had this grand idea that it would be groundbreaking, thought provoking ideas... it's turned into something that I just haven't made time for... kind of reminds me of a lot of things in my life right about now.
It's not that I'm not doing anything - life has been very busy for me and my family. We're building a house and nearing the end even. For the past 9 months I've put in an average of 25-30 hours a week out there on top of working my full time job. It's been tiring and stressful - but so rewarding at the same time.
The boys are as busy as ever - they are constantly running and yelling and fighting. They love me so much and just want to play and jump on me. It makes coming home a joy and a curse - but mainly a joy. There never seems to be any rest though.
And I've been told not to expect any sympathy from Sonya - because she gets the pleasure of being around that mad house 24-7. I don't blame her, I don't know how she does it.
Needless to say there hasn't been much time to "Evaluate Life."
As the saying goes, "They'll be plenty of time for sleep when I'm dead." I think that's the way life should be - go go go till you can't go anymore. People that say they are "too busy" can usually add one more thing - as long as they want to do it.
My message right now, is to enjoy life. Live life. And "Sleep when your dead."
It's not that I'm not doing anything - life has been very busy for me and my family. We're building a house and nearing the end even. For the past 9 months I've put in an average of 25-30 hours a week out there on top of working my full time job. It's been tiring and stressful - but so rewarding at the same time.
The boys are as busy as ever - they are constantly running and yelling and fighting. They love me so much and just want to play and jump on me. It makes coming home a joy and a curse - but mainly a joy. There never seems to be any rest though.
And I've been told not to expect any sympathy from Sonya - because she gets the pleasure of being around that mad house 24-7. I don't blame her, I don't know how she does it.
Needless to say there hasn't been much time to "Evaluate Life."
As the saying goes, "They'll be plenty of time for sleep when I'm dead." I think that's the way life should be - go go go till you can't go anymore. People that say they are "too busy" can usually add one more thing - as long as they want to do it.
My message right now, is to enjoy life. Live life. And "Sleep when your dead."
Friday, January 1, 2010
House Building
We're building a house in Graham, WA. It's been a lot of fun so far. When I say that "we're building it" I mean just that. We are required to put in 35 hours a week into the construction of the house. This is on top of our full time jobs. It's been a challange to get that many hours in. But we're doing it and so far are still a happy family.
The program is through Northwest Housing development. They are a non profit orginazation that is helping us through this. They supply a Supervisor who teaches us what we should be doing and helps us order supplys. Our co-op currently consists of 10 families. We build each house at aprox the same time. We are putting the floors down now. It's nice to be getting done with the concrete part - we still have slabs to pour but we're getting to work out of the dirt and that's nice.
We're trying to finish by the end of June to get the Tax Credit for new home buyers. If anyone has any desire to help we can use it any week - it's strictly volunteer- but it is a lot of fun. If you want to help - please email me - GBIRONMAN@COMCAST.NET
The program is through Northwest Housing development. They are a non profit orginazation that is helping us through this. They supply a Supervisor who teaches us what we should be doing and helps us order supplys. Our co-op currently consists of 10 families. We build each house at aprox the same time. We are putting the floors down now. It's nice to be getting done with the concrete part - we still have slabs to pour but we're getting to work out of the dirt and that's nice.
We're trying to finish by the end of June to get the Tax Credit for new home buyers. If anyone has any desire to help we can use it any week - it's strictly volunteer- but it is a lot of fun. If you want to help - please email me - GBIRONMAN@COMCAST.NET
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