Starting to Set In

Sonya told me this morning when I got home about an experience with Isaac this morning. I guess she was already up and Isaac came out of his room – he saw her and turned around and started walking to our room. She tried to tell Isaac that I wasn’t there, but that I was at school. He kept on walking. When he got to the bed he looked up on it and saw that I really wasn’t there. He looked at Sonya and she told him that I’d be back right after class (only one class today) He started bawling – “I want him home now!”
As much as I love hearing these stories – especially right after he gets done yelling at me – sometimes I agree with Sonya that he might be Bi-polar – but it still makes me feel bad that he has to go through this.
I hate being gone from my family. I really am one of those that would love it very much if Sonya would work full time and I’d be home with the boys full time. I just like that kind of busy. I know the song, “Mr. Mom.” And as much respect as I do have for parents, usually mothers that do the stay at home thing – I also think they have very little to complain about. I think they have the best job in the world.
I feel bad for the boys who just had to go through a year of me being gone a lot to build the house. Now they have the house and I’m gone again to go to school. This time, for a lot more than one year. We’ll see how it goes. I’m really excited and I have to be honest – I think Sonya is amazing. She seems to be even more supportive of this than she was with the house. She has been cleaning and making sure I have the things I need. All this while she’s coming down with a cold too.
It’s also starting to set in for me too. I am quickly realizing that this process is going to take a long time. I want to be very successful at it. At the same time, I can’t let it consume my life. I need to make sure that I take time for my family. Today after getting out of class – I came home and almost immediately set on the floor with the kids and played with the cars. I want them to enjoy the times they have with their dad. Doesn’t mean there won’t be discipline when they deserve it but I hope that their memories will be happy. It seems to me that they are getting to an age or will soon be that they will start to be able to remember things and I want those to be good.
I also hope that I’m setting a good example. Isaac and Gary both have their “Backpacks” for school too. They love to pretend that and I hope that by me going they will be even more motivated to continue and know that college will be expected of them.