Ah, finally a nice day. The sun was out and the pavement was mostly dry. It wasn’t freezing so it was a perfect day for ride. I got the bike out and warmed it up for a while – it’s been over a month since I rode last so it took it a little while but not too bad. I got all geared up and off I went. It was a short ride since it was cold and I had to be at work soon, but freeing none the less. It felt so good just to not be confined to my car. To feel that after all the snow, ice, wind and rain that I could live again on my bike. It was a great feeling.
It also made me think about how else I’ve freed myself over the past year. In building the house we’ve freed ourselves of apartment life. Our kids are able to run and play for the most part without worrying about how loud they get. We are paying into our retirement by not paying rent to someone else but a mortgage for our house. Also it’s given us a chance to work at improving upon something. There are always tasks to do around the house. For me it’s so much easier to do those since the house is ours than it was when we were in an apartment and I wasn’t invested in what happened to it.
The second way is that by starting school I can feel myself freeing up opportunities in the future. It hasn’t really done anything yet except make me feel the smartest I ever have. That’s a good feeling and important in my being successful this time around.
Freedom is an amazing feeling – looking back though it’s amazing to me that those feelings of freedom have come and are coming with a lot of work attached. Just as this country has done we must work for our freedom. We can’t get to where we want to be by lying down on the job so to speak. We can’t truly be free if we aren’t willing to sacrifice and work for it.
I want to be free.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Short Term Goal (Assignment)
We were assigned a letter in class to write about short term goals that the instructor had us come up with. Intially I thought it mine was going to be just showing up for all my classes. But that's kind of my problem at work right now is I feel sometimes like I just show up. I wanted to strech my self - so below is my letter.
Dear Greg,
I’ve been thinking about my goals and I’ve decided I intend to turn in every assignment on time for my three classes this quarter.
By March 15, 2011
The reasons I want to accomplish this goal are
- I believe that was what has held me back in the past. I believe that I am smart enough to do well in college but it has been the lack of effort that has prohibited me from succeeding.
- I need to get an A or B in every class in order to be fully reimbursed by State Farm, my employer. Missing or late assignments will hurt my chances at getting those grades.
- I am motivated by success. In the past when I would miss even one assignment I would become discouraged. I didn’t want to go back and I’d start missing classes and even more assignment. Success will feed off itself with me.
- By turning in every assignment and making a big deal about it I’m able to talk to family and coworkers about what I’m doing on almost a daily basis. Because I’m sharing my successes with them it’s making me more accountable because their beginning to just ask me how it’s going. That accountability is a huge difference from the times before. This is the first time going to school that I had people to be accountable too. That seems to help so far.
Dear Greg,
I’ve been thinking about my goals and I’ve decided I intend to turn in every assignment on time for my three classes this quarter.
By March 15, 2011
The reasons I want to accomplish this goal are
- I believe that was what has held me back in the past. I believe that I am smart enough to do well in college but it has been the lack of effort that has prohibited me from succeeding.
- I need to get an A or B in every class in order to be fully reimbursed by State Farm, my employer. Missing or late assignments will hurt my chances at getting those grades.
- I am motivated by success. In the past when I would miss even one assignment I would become discouraged. I didn’t want to go back and I’d start missing classes and even more assignment. Success will feed off itself with me.
- By turning in every assignment and making a big deal about it I’m able to talk to family and coworkers about what I’m doing on almost a daily basis. Because I’m sharing my successes with them it’s making me more accountable because their beginning to just ask me how it’s going. That accountability is a huge difference from the times before. This is the first time going to school that I had people to be accountable too. That seems to help so far.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Staying on top of it
I am feeling so good right now. I had a paper due today for English. It was only two pages – but it was based on 62 pages of reading. I got it done last night and felt really good about it. Then today during lunch I finished up two more assignments that are due tomorrow. I don’t technically have to study tonight – but I have to start preparing and planning for my first essay. The draft is due on Friday. I’m really excited about it.
I’m mostly excited that I feel that I’m staying ahead of the game. I don’t feel that there are even minor things that are falling behind yet. I know it’s only one week into it but I’ve got to start somewhere.
Sonya has been so great about taking care of things. She really has been amazing and so helpful already. I even had her read an essay to me last night so that we were spending time together and then we talked about it a little. I haven’t felt that I’ve neglected my family and that’s mainly because of her. She has stayed positive and it looks like she’s actually getting more positive as the time goes on instead of getting frustrated. (Frustrated at the boys is a different story)
I’m really starting to feel that I can really do this. I was worried for quite a bit last week. Scared of what I got myself into – but I’m starting to become a believer in myself – and isn’t that a main point of college?
I’m mostly excited that I feel that I’m staying ahead of the game. I don’t feel that there are even minor things that are falling behind yet. I know it’s only one week into it but I’ve got to start somewhere.
Sonya has been so great about taking care of things. She really has been amazing and so helpful already. I even had her read an essay to me last night so that we were spending time together and then we talked about it a little. I haven’t felt that I’ve neglected my family and that’s mainly because of her. She has stayed positive and it looks like she’s actually getting more positive as the time goes on instead of getting frustrated. (Frustrated at the boys is a different story)
I’m really starting to feel that I can really do this. I was worried for quite a bit last week. Scared of what I got myself into – but I’m starting to become a believer in myself – and isn’t that a main point of college?
Friday, January 7, 2011
Perception
I’ve been working on a blog the past couple days that will be for later – but it has to do with perception. I’ll save the majority of my comments for that – but today was a great exercise in getting to know someone. After running from my weight training class to my College Success class I found an open seat next to a girl who also happened to be in my weight training class – I figured if anyone could understand why I wasn’t smelling like a peach it would be her… I did wonder when the guy sitting on the other side of me moved down one seat – oh well.
Anyway the point is that we did the whole get to know you thing where you talk to your neighbor and find out a little about them and then present them to the class. Her name is Gwen – the first thing I noticed though was I turned to her and saw what I thought was a CTR ring – and sure enough it was. Instantly my fear – and yes I’m still afraid of girls – but it was gone. We had a great conversation and got to know each other. I was able to open up and explain about my mission easier and I felt like she understood when I talked about how importantly my family was to me.
Why is it that once you have one thing in common that everything else is so much easier to talk about?
Finding that one thing though can sometimes prove to be difficult, especially for me. I always fear I’m going to say the wrong things or upset somebody. And I really hate to be called out on something that I don’t know everything about; which to me feels like most things. It’s something that I’ll have to work on – and if this first week is any indication – this will be a great time in my life to do it. I’ve done so many things outside of my shell the past 4 days – nothing major for most, but I’m feeling very confident and am really starting to feel that this time will be different.
Anyway the point is that we did the whole get to know you thing where you talk to your neighbor and find out a little about them and then present them to the class. Her name is Gwen – the first thing I noticed though was I turned to her and saw what I thought was a CTR ring – and sure enough it was. Instantly my fear – and yes I’m still afraid of girls – but it was gone. We had a great conversation and got to know each other. I was able to open up and explain about my mission easier and I felt like she understood when I talked about how importantly my family was to me.
Why is it that once you have one thing in common that everything else is so much easier to talk about?
Finding that one thing though can sometimes prove to be difficult, especially for me. I always fear I’m going to say the wrong things or upset somebody. And I really hate to be called out on something that I don’t know everything about; which to me feels like most things. It’s something that I’ll have to work on – and if this first week is any indication – this will be a great time in my life to do it. I’ve done so many things outside of my shell the past 4 days – nothing major for most, but I’m feeling very confident and am really starting to feel that this time will be different.
Starting to Set In
Sonya told me this morning when I got home about an experience with Isaac this morning. I guess she was already up and Isaac came out of his room – he saw her and turned around and started walking to our room. She tried to tell Isaac that I wasn’t there, but that I was at school. He kept on walking. When he got to the bed he looked up on it and saw that I really wasn’t there. He looked at Sonya and she told him that I’d be back right after class (only one class today) He started bawling – “I want him home now!”
As much as I love hearing these stories – especially right after he gets done yelling at me – sometimes I agree with Sonya that he might be Bi-polar – but it still makes me feel bad that he has to go through this.
I hate being gone from my family. I really am one of those that would love it very much if Sonya would work full time and I’d be home with the boys full time. I just like that kind of busy. I know the song, “Mr. Mom.” And as much respect as I do have for parents, usually mothers that do the stay at home thing – I also think they have very little to complain about. I think they have the best job in the world.
I feel bad for the boys who just had to go through a year of me being gone a lot to build the house. Now they have the house and I’m gone again to go to school. This time, for a lot more than one year. We’ll see how it goes. I’m really excited and I have to be honest – I think Sonya is amazing. She seems to be even more supportive of this than she was with the house. She has been cleaning and making sure I have the things I need. All this while she’s coming down with a cold too.
It’s also starting to set in for me too. I am quickly realizing that this process is going to take a long time. I want to be very successful at it. At the same time, I can’t let it consume my life. I need to make sure that I take time for my family. Today after getting out of class – I came home and almost immediately set on the floor with the kids and played with the cars. I want them to enjoy the times they have with their dad. Doesn’t mean there won’t be discipline when they deserve it but I hope that their memories will be happy. It seems to me that they are getting to an age or will soon be that they will start to be able to remember things and I want those to be good.
I also hope that I’m setting a good example. Isaac and Gary both have their “Backpacks” for school too. They love to pretend that and I hope that by me going they will be even more motivated to continue and know that college will be expected of them.
As much as I love hearing these stories – especially right after he gets done yelling at me – sometimes I agree with Sonya that he might be Bi-polar – but it still makes me feel bad that he has to go through this.
I hate being gone from my family. I really am one of those that would love it very much if Sonya would work full time and I’d be home with the boys full time. I just like that kind of busy. I know the song, “Mr. Mom.” And as much respect as I do have for parents, usually mothers that do the stay at home thing – I also think they have very little to complain about. I think they have the best job in the world.
I feel bad for the boys who just had to go through a year of me being gone a lot to build the house. Now they have the house and I’m gone again to go to school. This time, for a lot more than one year. We’ll see how it goes. I’m really excited and I have to be honest – I think Sonya is amazing. She seems to be even more supportive of this than she was with the house. She has been cleaning and making sure I have the things I need. All this while she’s coming down with a cold too.
It’s also starting to set in for me too. I am quickly realizing that this process is going to take a long time. I want to be very successful at it. At the same time, I can’t let it consume my life. I need to make sure that I take time for my family. Today after getting out of class – I came home and almost immediately set on the floor with the kids and played with the cars. I want them to enjoy the times they have with their dad. Doesn’t mean there won’t be discipline when they deserve it but I hope that their memories will be happy. It seems to me that they are getting to an age or will soon be that they will start to be able to remember things and I want those to be good.
I also hope that I’m setting a good example. Isaac and Gary both have their “Backpacks” for school too. They love to pretend that and I hope that by me going they will be even more motivated to continue and know that college will be expected of them.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Beginning down the Road
I’ve now had at least one of all my classes. I am feeling pretty good about it. The Professors are very straight forward from what I can tell. It’ll be more work than I’ve ever done but not more than I’ll be doing in coming quarters. I have 62 pages for English to read before Monday – at first I thought that sounded like a lot – but I’m already on page 15 so I’m doing well.
I think I will enjoy my Weight Training class the most – and hopefully I’ll get a lot out of it. My College Success has helped in one way already – I can spell Success now. Small achievements are the best I say because it takes those to make something big happen.
I’m really excited about my English class and really worried at the same time. I am worried that I may be in over my head. I’ve never considered that a strong point and so I fear that I’ll have to either put in a lot of work to get good grades – or I’ll get too frustrated and give up. I can’t do that this time. I shouldn’t have done it in the past but I did and now I am where I am.
I am pretty tired though. I don’t feel that I’m staying up way to late – it’s just that I have to be up by about 6am to get ready and be sure to make it to school on time. Since I don’t get off work till 9 it make for a late night considering when I get up. I do think the weight training class will help though to get me more energy. At least that’s the theory.
For now though and I do mean right now – I’m going to bow my head for a little nap. I’ve been enjoying doing that during lunch the past couple days. Maybe I’ll have to blog about that tomorrow.
I think I will enjoy my Weight Training class the most – and hopefully I’ll get a lot out of it. My College Success has helped in one way already – I can spell Success now. Small achievements are the best I say because it takes those to make something big happen.
I’m really excited about my English class and really worried at the same time. I am worried that I may be in over my head. I’ve never considered that a strong point and so I fear that I’ll have to either put in a lot of work to get good grades – or I’ll get too frustrated and give up. I can’t do that this time. I shouldn’t have done it in the past but I did and now I am where I am.
I am pretty tired though. I don’t feel that I’m staying up way to late – it’s just that I have to be up by about 6am to get ready and be sure to make it to school on time. Since I don’t get off work till 9 it make for a late night considering when I get up. I do think the weight training class will help though to get me more energy. At least that’s the theory.
For now though and I do mean right now – I’m going to bow my head for a little nap. I’ve been enjoying doing that during lunch the past couple days. Maybe I’ll have to blog about that tomorrow.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
New Journey
So tomorrow morning I start on a new journey. One I've started before and without much success. I'm hoping that this time is different - well - I'm hoping that the outcome is different. I know that almost every thing else is different. I'm married now, with two young boys. I have a great job now (one that is paying for me to go to school - how often does that happen now a days?) I've had success in other area's of my life - mainly us building and buying our first house. I just feel different. But in a lot of ways I feel so much the same.
I still don't love to work - I do it because I have to. I still love to stay up way to late a play video games. I of course still don't like to get up early to do anything - much less go to school. And I still find the task of completing a college degree to be very daunting.
So what will happen? Will my new differences make me so much better a student? Or will my old and bad habits get in the way of college success again?
I don't really think there is an answer for this - and although I think all of these things will play into my success or failure - I think they can fit in either category. I think my success will be based on me learning and developing certain talents I haven't developed yet. I think college for me will be about learning how to manage my time better. Learning how to get the most out of my time while I'm doing a certain task and compartmentalizing.
I'm excited, I'm nervous, and I'm scared. of what? I'm not really sure. It's a journey that I've never seen through and never gotten very far on. I know I just have to take it one day at a time and one class at a time. When I'm done, and if... yes if, I get that piece of paper in my hand that says I completed my college degree, I'll probably be excited, nervous and scared - of a new journey that I won't know much about.
Such is life - now it's off to bed, gotta rest up they say. That's not something that I've ever been very good at - but I guess now's as good as any to try new things.
I still don't love to work - I do it because I have to. I still love to stay up way to late a play video games. I of course still don't like to get up early to do anything - much less go to school. And I still find the task of completing a college degree to be very daunting.
So what will happen? Will my new differences make me so much better a student? Or will my old and bad habits get in the way of college success again?
I don't really think there is an answer for this - and although I think all of these things will play into my success or failure - I think they can fit in either category. I think my success will be based on me learning and developing certain talents I haven't developed yet. I think college for me will be about learning how to manage my time better. Learning how to get the most out of my time while I'm doing a certain task and compartmentalizing.
I'm excited, I'm nervous, and I'm scared. of what? I'm not really sure. It's a journey that I've never seen through and never gotten very far on. I know I just have to take it one day at a time and one class at a time. When I'm done, and if... yes if, I get that piece of paper in my hand that says I completed my college degree, I'll probably be excited, nervous and scared - of a new journey that I won't know much about.
Such is life - now it's off to bed, gotta rest up they say. That's not something that I've ever been very good at - but I guess now's as good as any to try new things.
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